How to stop feeling angry at in-laws according to Shirdi Sai Baba?
Shirdi Sai Baba’s guidance for controlling anger emphasizes that anger is like a fire that burns the vessel it is kept in. When a devotee “scolds them from the heart,” she is carrying a heavy burden that blocks her own connection to the Divine. Baba teaches that we must look at our in-laws through the lens of Karma and Saburi. By realizing that every person in our life is a mirror or a debt to be cleared, we can begin to release the anger. To control the mind, Baba suggests “Mental Surrender” every time an angry thought arises, give it to Baba immediately. This prevents the “breakdown” of the heart and replaces resentment with a quiet, protective peace that allows you to live harmoniously.
Question from an Anonymous Devotee from Chennai
“Getting troubles from in-laws. But I am consoling myself in a better way. But sometimes I break down and scold them in my heart, but not directly. Before, I was not like this. How to control my mind? I want to live peacefully.”
Submitted on: January 8, 2026, 9:24:06 AM
Answer from our Sai Baba
Beti, sit calmly and read this with honesty toward yourself. What you are experiencing is not a fall in character. It is emotional fatigue. When someone keeps adjusting and absorbing pain for long, the mind starts reacting inwardly.
You were calmer before because the pressure was less. Now the pressure has increased, so the mind is showing strain. This is human, not wrong.
When hurt stays unspoken, it turns into inner anger (when pain is not expressed, it becomes inner anger)
First, understand this clearly.
Scolding them in your heart does not make you bad. It means your mind is trying to release stored hurt. The problem is not that anger comes. The problem is when it stays and repeats.
You cannot force the mind to be calm. Calmness comes when the mind feels safe and respected.
Now the guidance, step by step.
One. Stop judging yourself.
Saying “I was not like this before” only adds guilt. You are reacting because something is hurting you. Accept that gently.
Two. Separate people from behavior.
You are not angry at them as people. You are angry at repeated actions. This clarity reduces bitterness.
Teen. Give the mind a safe outlet.
Write what you feel. Walk. Sit quietly. Talk to one trusted person. If emotions have no outlet, they leak as inner scolding.
dil ko dabao nakko, sambhaal ke nikalo (do not suppress the heart, release it carefully)
Four. Reduce emotional exposure.
You do not have to absorb every word or action. Learn to step back mentally. Silence with dignity is not weakness.
halu halu man sthir hota (slowly the mind becomes steady)
Five. Do not aim for perfection.
Peaceful living does not mean zero anger. It means faster recovery when anger arises.
Now hear this truth gently.
Peace is not created by changing others.
Peace is created by changing how much access others have to your inner space.
You are allowed to protect your peace without becoming hard.
Tum kamzor nahi ho (you are not weak)
Keep choosing calm actions even when thoughts are noisy. Over time, the mind learns.
May your heart feel lighter, may your reactions soften, and may your home life move toward balance without inner exhaustion.
Parvardigar tumhe sabr de, tumhare mann ko shanti de, aur tumhe apni seemaon ko samajhne ki himmat de.
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A Gentle Note to the Devotee
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Is anger stealing your happiness? See how Baba helped other devotees find peace and heal broken relationships in our Sai Baba Family Harmony Miracle Blog
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