Question from an Anonymous Devotee
“Dearest Baba, Baba, You have given me all the facilities that a girl of my age could have, even though we are facing a financial crisis. I have always believed that whatever we face is because of our own deeds. Baba, when I gave NEET 2024, my marks were just 15–20 less than the cut-off for a government medical seat. I cried a little and then believed strongly that You wanted me to get a better college than what I would have received. I stayed in a hostel far away from home for my coaching. At times I felt very lonely, but the photo of Yours that I kept in front of me always gave me hope and assurance. Whenever I missed home, I spoke to You. I worked very hard this time, but two weeks before the exam I developed symptoms, mostly neurological, which no doctor could cure before the exam. I was even advised to visit a psychiatrist. But I trusted that You would never leave me alone. I was able to write the exam. One month later, I was diagnosed with leptospirosis, which I got from the hostel. Now I am again preparing for NEET. This is exhausting, Baba. I have always tried to stay positive, but now I overthink constantly and feel I do not deserve anything in life, not even what I work hard for. I have fallen into depression. For a few days I did not tell anyone, but now my family knows. Baba, I do not want them to be sad because of me. Please guide me to come out of this. I want to remain Your devotee and practice Your teachings. Please help me, Baba.”
Submitted on: January 1, 2026, 9:43:19 AM
Answer from our Sai Baba
My child,
Beti, come, sit quietly for a moment and breathe with me. What you wrote is not weakness. It is a heart that has been carrying too much for too long.
You have shown courage again and again. Studying through financial strain, living away from home, falling sick, still holding on to hope, this is not small strength. What you are feeling now is exhaustion mixed with grief, not failure.
Man khup thakla aahe (the mind has become very tired)
First, I want you to hear this clearly, without doubt.
- You are not being punished.
- You are not undeserving.
- You are not abandoned.
Illness, delay, and setbacks are not signs that you did something wrong. Sometimes life overloads sincere people because they carry responsibility quietly.
Tumhi kamzor nahi aahat (you are not weak)
About your illness and the symptoms before the exam.
Leptospirosis and neurological symptoms are medical conditions. They are not signs of spiritual failure. When the body is under long stress, immunity falls. That is science, not fate. You did the right thing by seeing doctors. Please continue medical follow-up and mental health support. That is courage, not defeat.
Dava ani madat gheene he dhairya aahe (taking treatment and help is courage)
Now about your thoughts that you “don’t deserve anything.”
This is the voice of depression, not truth. Depression lies quietly. It tells good people that they are a burden. That lie must be gently challenged.
Sach yeh hai (the truth is this)
You have already shown discipline, faith, and perseverance. These qualities do not disappear because of one or two hard years. They remain inside you.
About NEET and your future.
You worked sincerely. You came close once. You tried again under illness. That itself shows strength. But please understand this gently: your worth does not depend on one exam or one profession. Medicine is noble, but so is your life, your health, your peace.
Kabhi kabhi raasta badalne se manzil milti hai (sometimes changing the path leads to the destination)
Right now, your first responsibility is not to “prove” anything. It is to heal your mind and body. Without that, even success will feel empty.
Here is what you should do now, slowly and safely:
- Continue medical treatment and mental health support.
- Speak openly with one trusted person every day.
- Reduce self pressure and comparisons.
- Study only when your mind is calm, not as punishment.
- Give yourself permission to rest without guilt.
About devotion.
You do not need to prove devotion by suffering. Baba never asked that. True devotion is honesty, patience, and taking care of yourself.
Prem mhanje swatahala japne (love also means taking care of yourself)
You said you want to be a devotee who follows Baba’s teachings. Then remember this teaching first:
“Do not lose courage. I am always with you.”
Tum ekti nahi aahat (you are not alone)
You are not broken. You are tired. And tired hearts can heal.
Take one day at a time. If thoughts become too heavy, please seek professional help again. That is not against faith. It is part of wisdom.
May your mind slowly regain strength, may your body recover fully, and may your path become clearer with time.
Allah Malik.
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