Are constant arguments, blame, and lack of responsibility hurting your marriage and affecting your child? Sai Baba Guidance For Marital Conflict And Emotional Pain speaks to women facing disrespect, emotional exhaustion, and silence when relationships lose balance and peace.
Question from Vinaya from Bengaluru, India
"Baba Pranaam🙏🙏, You know everything, relationship problems between my husband and me. My daughter also has issues with her father. He doesn't earn, take responsibility for what to do. He keeps blaming and scolding me. I am tired of these differences. Why is this happening? When will he understand our worth and be respectful? When will our relationship be cordial? Baba, please be with us. Bless us with good health, happiness and prosperity 🙏"
Submitted on: January 22, 2026, 9:19:37 AM
Answer from our Sai Baba
Baba’s Answer:
Vinaya beti, read this slowly and let your heart breathe while reading.
What you are living with is emotional exhaustion, not just relationship problems. When one person does not take responsibility and shifts blame, the entire family carries the weight. Your tiredness is real.
Jab zimmedari ek taraf girti, rishta bhari lagta (when responsibility falls on one side, the relationship feels heavy)
First, understand why this is happening, without blaming yourself.
Many people react with anger and blame when they feel inadequate or insecure. Instead of correcting themselves, they protect their ego by scolding others. This does not make their behavior right, but it explains the pattern.
ahankar dukh jhala ki dosh baher ghalto (when ego is hurt, blame is thrown outward)
Your husband’s lack of earning or responsibility is hurting his self worth. But instead of facing it, he is releasing frustration on you and your daughter. This is emotional displacement.
apni kami ka gussa ghar pe girta (anger about one’s own failure falls on the family)
Now about your daughter.
Children suffer deeply when a parent is harsh or dismissive. Her issues with her father are not rebellion, they are self protection. She is reacting to emotional unsafety.
Mulgi doshi nahi, paristiti kathin ahe (the child is not at fault, the situation is difficult)
Now hear this carefully, this is important.
You cannot make someone understand your worth through explaining, pleading, or tolerating disrespect. Respect comes when boundaries are felt, not when pain is absorbed silently.
sahan karne se nahi, seema thevlyane badlav yeto (change comes not by tolerating, but by setting boundaries)
What you must do now gently but firmly.
One. Stop engaging in blame cycles.
When he scolds or blames, do not defend endlessly. Calmly disengage. Say less, not more.
Two. Protect your dignity.
Disrespect should not be normalized in the name of marriage. Quiet self respect is powerful.
Three. Support your daughter emotionally.
Let her know she is seen and safe with you. One emotionally stable parent can protect a child deeply.
Four. Seek external support if possible.
Counseling, mediation, or guidance from a neutral elder can help. This is not weakness.
Madat ghenyaat laj nahi (taking help is not shameful)
Now about your question, “When will he understand and be respectful?”
Truthfully, understanding comes only when he chooses accountability. You cannot control that timing. But you can control how much disrespect enters your heart and your child’s mind.
Relationship becoming cordial depends on
reduction of blame
acceptance of responsibility
respectful communication
If these do not change, your inner peace must not be sacrificed waiting.
apni shanti ka mol kam mat karo (do not reduce the value of your peace)
You are not failing as a wife or mother. You are standing in a difficult space with courage.
May strength rise within you without bitterness, may clarity guide your boundaries, may your daughter feel emotionally safe, may wisdom enter your husband’s heart, and may your home move toward peace, whether through change or calm firmness.
Allah Malik.
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